Bar Scene Satire Fan Gifts

In an effort to be friendly, Abe unwittingly seals his fate.

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

1989 Map Of Sorghum Corners, Ohio

"Why so grim, handsome?"

Complementary Beverages

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

The Cavern Club - "One for the long and winding road Mr McCartney?"

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

"Ancient Aztec shaman-kings predicted a coming together of all the cultures of the world, creating a new enlightenment for human beings."

'Two large ones when you're ready please barkeeper'

Stallone, Schwarzenegger and Willis in 'Wise men 3'.

"I'm supposed to meet a minister and a priest here..."

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

Virtual Lap Dancing

'They're clouds, Bob. You can't channel surf.'

'We need more cake shows!'

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

"Watch yourself, stranger. I've got an itchy trigger finger."

"I couldn't help overhearing what you ladies said about all the chlorine in the toilet water, and I could not agree more."

'Let me guess: you want me to pour you a tall one, right?'

Bar, My dog doesn't understand me.

"I'm thinking about moving out of the suburbs."

"If I'm not back at the maze by eight, my wife reels in the damn string."

Jesus turns water into Vitamin Water.

'How's my Mother? Not too good - You're sitting on her!'

"The ball of wool channel? Who the hell signed us up for that?"

All I'm sayin is let he who has not driven naked and stoned cast the first stone...

How come nothing good ever happens to me? Like what? Like getting taken by a foreign government then rescued. I want to get a book contract, to be part of the news cycle, to have him talk about me. Whom? Speak my name, Anderson Cooper! The great one.

"Leave the toilet."

"I should give myself up... I'm a bad habit!"

"Goddam Dogs."

“Try to ignore it — it’s just the beer talking.”

"I thought it came with an acorn."

"Laugh if you will, but my kind once ruled the earth."

Drunken Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.