Urban Satire Fan Gifts

1989 Map Of Sorghum Corners, Ohio

Speed Limit 5 MPH. Enforced by Potholes.

"You know, there are other emojis."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

"Ancient Aztec shaman-kings predicted a coming together of all the cultures of the world, creating a new enlightenment for human beings."

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

'I believe in the free enterprise system. I haven't paid for anything in the past 27 years...'

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

'They're clouds, Bob. You can't channel surf.'

Cars.

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

'We need more cake shows!'

Frosty decides to have a carrot job

"I've got to admit I'm not crazy about the freeway."

Straddling bus stop above a regular bus stop.

Traffic Lights Medicine

"Worm puree? No, it seems the old lady was sh*tfaced again last night!"

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

'He was too chatty. I don't like small talk. Too much gibber, not enough jabber.'

Messing Up My Metrics

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

Lex Ave Express

"I'm thinking about moving out of the suburbs."

"I don’t remember there being a tip jar the last time we were here."

'My therapist suggested I redirect my anger into landscaping and gardening!'

'Could you give me big tits?'

",,,These job cuts will not affect patient care...."

Unbroken Eye Contact: The Musical

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

"A touch more obsequious and you'll reach the tipping point."

"Goddam Dogs."

'I don;t see how that's going to work?'