Cloud Comedy Gifts

'It's okay, they're holy smokes.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

"What would you recommend pairing with the school of cod fish?"

Damn defibrillators.

An angel bangs a broom on a cloud

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

'Edward de Vere? -- give me a break!'

"How much storage does he bleedin' want?!"

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

'If this is really Heaven, why do you have a desk job?'

"We had to park your car in the cloud and, unfortunately, sir, I'm afraid it may have been deleted!"

'If it's sympathy you're after... forget it !'

"What's the wi-fi like?"

'...And kids are an enormous meteor shower.'

'Nobody likes a show-off, bub!'

"Nope, wrong password. You've got two more tries..."

'Just sayin' it was a lot more relaxing around here before they invented ‘the Cloud.''

"User name and password?"

'Early retirement...I had pictured that differently!!!'

'First of all, thank you for enrolling in our rewards program.'

"Omniscient?? - I think you're confusing me with google. . .!"

"Sorry. I'm molting."

"We are now jamming passengers into rows 24 through 36."

"And on the 5th day, God's agent negotiated digital content rights..."

'Oh dear, you should have left this one til last.'

"Relax, he can't see us from here."

'Oh yeah? So who died and made you God?'

"Sorry, but you've been 'Unfriended'."

'Don't you think it's strange that it's called mooning when the moon never actually shows its backside!'

'Eight hundred million channels and there's still nothing good on!'

'Apparently it's no longer cost effective.'