Cloud Comedians Gifts

"Relax, he can't see us from here."

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

Giggle.

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

An amplified harp

Damn defibrillators.

An angel bangs a broom on a cloud

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

'Edward de Vere? -- give me a break!'

"I'm not unhappy, just surprised at all the other denominations that are here."

"I thought it would be cheaper to weed wack our shag carpet rather than replace it."

"Hold on, I'll make that coffee to go!"

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

"We had to park your car in the cloud and, unfortunately, sir, I'm afraid it may have been deleted!"

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

'If this is really Heaven, why do you have a desk job?'

'Whoa! Time out. The loud guy in the white shirt is right - that was a ball. My mistake. Sorry everyone. Thank you, sir.'

'If it's sympathy you're after... forget it !'

"The first thing newcomers seem to want to do is make a 'cloud angel'."

"What's the wi-fi like?"

'Nobody likes a show-off, bub!'

"User name and password?"

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

'Early retirement...I had pictured that differently!!!'

'First of all, thank you for enrolling in our rewards program.'

"Sorry. I'm molting."

"Omniscient?? - I think you're confusing me with google. . .!"

Skywriter parachutes out of plane after writing 'I QUIT'.

"We are now jamming passengers into rows 24 through 36."

"And on the 5th day, God's agent negotiated digital content rights..."

"Sorry, but you've been 'Unfriended'."

'Eight hundred million channels and there's still nothing good on!'

'Smiley Faced Contractors, Kinder Gentler Destruction.

'Oh dear, you should have left this one til last.'