Cloud Comedian Gifts

'Yeah, like I've never heard that one before. If I had a dollar for every cloud computing joke I've heard...'

'Early retirement...I had pictured that differently!!!'

'He'll need time to adjust -- he was a Unitarian.'

Gates of Heaven "Sorry buddy- no entry without a tie"

"I have all my information stored on the Cloud."

An angel bangs a broom on a cloud

'Oh yeah? So who died and made you God?'

'Oh dear, you should have left this one til last.'

'The last thing I heard was 'Go on, you've got the right of way!''

'The flight controllers are on strike...'

'Eight hundred million channels and there's still nothing good on!'

"What's the wi-fi like?"

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

An amplified harp

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

Damn defibrillators.

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

"How much storage does he bleedin' want?!"

"I'm not unhappy, just surprised at all the other denominations that are here."

'Edward de Vere? -- give me a break!'

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

'If this is really Heaven, why do you have a desk job?'

'If it's sympathy you're after... forget it !'

"The first thing newcomers seem to want to do is make a 'cloud angel'."

"Nope, wrong password. You've got two more tries..."

'Nobody likes a show-off, bub!'

'Just sayin' it was a lot more relaxing around here before they invented ‘the Cloud.''

"User name and password?"

'First of all, thank you for enrolling in our rewards program.'

"Omniscient?? - I think you're confusing me with google. . .!"

Skywriter parachutes out of plane after writing 'I QUIT'.

"And on the 5th day, God's agent negotiated digital content rights..."

"We are now jamming passengers into rows 24 through 36."