Cloud Comedist Gifts

'If this is really Heaven, why do you have a desk job?'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

An amplified harp

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

Damn defibrillators.

An angel bangs a broom on a cloud

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

"How much storage does he bleedin' want?!"

'Edward de Vere? -- give me a break!'

"I'm not unhappy, just surprised at all the other denominations that are here."

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

'If it's sympathy you're after... forget it !'

"The first thing newcomers seem to want to do is make a 'cloud angel'."

"What's the wi-fi like?"

'Nobody likes a show-off, bub!'

"User name and password?"

'Early retirement...I had pictured that differently!!!'

'First of all, thank you for enrolling in our rewards program.'

"Omniscient?? - I think you're confusing me with google. . .!"

Skywriter parachutes out of plane after writing 'I QUIT'.

"And on the 5th day, God's agent negotiated digital content rights..."

"We are now jamming passengers into rows 24 through 36."

"Sorry, but you've been 'Unfriended'."

'Eight hundred million channels and there's still nothing good on!'

'Oh dear, you should have left this one til last.'

"Relax, he can't see us from here."

'Oh yeah? So who died and made you God?'

'Apparently it's no longer cost effective.'

'It's okay, they're holy smokes.'