Clothing Caretakers Gifts

"This relentless red sock prank is costing me a fortune in white tees."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

"That shirt is so last year."

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Wouldn't it be nice to slip into a simple little black number for a change?"

"Darling, I love how you've curated yourself."

Cathedral Made Safe.

"Can you de-schlump him?"

'And don't shrink it in a hot wash.'

Retail store: 'put this on and shut up!'

Already overworked at the Vlasic Plant, an exhausted stork shatters a young couple's dreams,

Bad Outfit Alarm.

'I wasn't going to miss our game just because my wife landed me with junior. Besides, he's a great caddie.'

'You must have something in my size?'

'Where's your goldfish?'

'Turbidity is pretty high today, better keep the kids inside...'

It's a new miracle fabric, of course.

F and E Dry Cleaners. I've added custom touches for some of our customers. I assumed the marathoner wants her colors to run. And the investigative journalist wants the dirt out there for everybody to see. I shrink the clothes for the psychotherapist, of course. And I limit the starch for the dietitian. This is for the writer of mystery novels? Yeah, I think he'll love it! The more wrinkles the better!

The Moth Menace.

I hate jacuzzi day.

"This is my favorite photo of our autumn leaves."

'Do these tight jeans make my top look big in this...?'

"Don't worry. The button is purely decorative."

'I have a dress for every day of the year. Is that it?'

"I heard Dad say we were having fish for dinner, so I thought I'd come in and check on you guys."

Cinemaplex

Dry Cleaners. My cup runneth over again…..

'Don't worry - you're not the first person to leave your Marriage Certificate in the jacket.'

Sunglasses Wardrobe

'Why is there so much chlorine in this water?'