Clothing Care Connoisseur Gifts

'And don't shrink it in a hot wash.'

Bookworm Sleepover

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'Anorak anoraks'.

"That shirt is so last year."

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

'Idle' Home Exhibition

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

"I hope he's wearing pants."

Second aid

"They've got insulation to die for!"

"If Marcus Aurelius himself were standing here today, I'm sure he would agree this suit reflects perfectly your stoic sensibilities."

"You're stealing the blanket."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

'The Anal Retentive Astronaut.' 'Just LOOK at all this DUST!'

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

"Don’t call the fire department — this is the most relaxed I’ve felt in years."

A tailor measuring a jacket.

"Dr. Green...5 second rule...stat!"

'How does this one feel?'

Mangle

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

F&E Designs. My reversible jacket didn't turn out very well.

Junior's Towel

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

'This closet needs digitized.'