Clinical Psychologist Gifts

"I see a psychiatrist holding a Rorschach test."

Clinical psychology involves observation of patients in clinics and related settings. Forensic psychology takes place at crime scenes. Cognitive psychology uses mathematical models. It can happen at a computer. Ernie prefers to put his patients in the car and drive backwards. Which is? Reverse psychology.

Teacher of the Year: "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

School administrator of the year "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

'Welcome to claustrophobics anonymous. Before we get started who votes we get a bigger meeting room?'

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

A therapist reads to his patient from a joke book.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

Lynching on social media

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Support the Ex-Troops

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Fear/Knowledge

"They grow up so fast."

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'