Behavioral Psychologist Gifts

Beware of Salivating Dog

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"I’ve trained him to feed me each time I press this button."

Behavioral studies.

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

Lynching on social media

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Support the Ex-Troops

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

Fear/Knowledge

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

Thinking Gears

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

America, are we learning anything?

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."