Behavioral Psychologist T-Shirts

Beware of Salivating Dog

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"I’ve trained him to feed me each time I press this button."

Behavioral studies.

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Lynching on social media

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

Fear/Knowledge

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

America, are we learning anything?

Thinking Gears

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

'The iceman cometh too soon!'