Behavioral Specialist T-Shirts

"Do you think his moral-flexibility and continual lying will hinder a career in politics?"

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"Why do they do that?"

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

Bears catching fish

"The hyenas started it."

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

"No wonder they've spotted us! Tail down Fred, tail down!"

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

What does aloof mean?

'I don't know about you. But I'm eating my fill before I drag this carcass to the 'king of the beasts'.'

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."