Behavioral Scientists T-Shirts

How Mrs Pavlov Would Call her Son to the Dinner Table

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

Codepetdency Counseling: "He won't even sit on my lap anymore."

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"Now, let your inner ‘bad dog’ answer the question ..."

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

Failures.

Pavlov's dog

'I think we're losing sight of our roots.'

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

Tyler missed the old days before his parents used behavioral tracking software.

"We got this. I was born in a corn maze." CS629922

"People are crazy."

Pavlov Throws Out The Anomaly

"You have a remarkable lack of curiosity about your co-workers."

Pavlov's Dream

We bonded over a shared lack of assertiveness. Vive la diffidence!

"So you feel like you are constantly being followed?"

"I don't want them to smell fear, so I'm going to roll in something before the interview."

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

Lab rat dreams.

'And what a horrible little package.'

There's just no excuse for your behavior, Al. I thought it was your job to find one, doctor.

Canine Psychiatry. My father was a boxer and my mother was a greyhound --- I've always been very conflicted when it comes to the "fight-or-flight" response!

Respect Zone: 'We respect yobs.'

"We assumed they were raised by wolves, but I'm beginning to believe they were raised by stray dogs."k Upload

The Prisoner's Dilemma

"You've done it, Martin - you've taught him to smile!"