Behavioral Researcher Gifts

Pavlov's Cat

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

The life of penguins.

"Now, let your inner ‘bad dog’ answer the question ..."

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

Failures.

Pavlov's dog

"So we're agreed—free will exists, unless there are treats."

"Oh, he claims I bit his head off, did he? And I suppose you BELIEVED him?"

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

Tyler missed the old days before his parents used behavioral tracking software.

Pavlov Throws Out The Anomaly

"We got this. I was born in a corn maze." CS629922

"You have a remarkable lack of curiosity about your co-workers."

"People are crazy."

We bonded over a shared lack of assertiveness. Vive la diffidence!

Pavlov's Dream

"So you feel like you are constantly being followed?"

"I don't want them to smell fear, so I'm going to roll in something before the interview."

DATING FOR NON-DUMMIES

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

Lab rat dreams.

'And what a horrible little package.'

Respect Zone: 'We respect yobs.'

Before the Salivating Dogs

'That's what I wanted to ask you about.'