Behavioral Science Gifts

Lab rat dreams.

Tyler missed the old days before his parents used behavioral tracking software.

'Unconscious ' person on street (part of psychology experiment)

Children Influenced By Parent's Behaviour

"No! I want my special plate! I want mine cut up! Not that way! Waaaaaah!" "I've gotta remember to throw that one out of the nest."

'Don't believe a word I tell you.'

'And what a horrible little package.'

"You know me, Ray. I don't get mad... I get even. Then, as a rule, I get incarcerated. And THEN I get mad."

"You've done it, Martin - you've taught him to smile!"

'That's what I wanted to ask you about.'

Beware of the Reformed Character: ' ... by this point I realised that I was carrying a lot of anger around and I needed to address that, so ...'

Child on leash peeing on fire hydrant.

"People are crazy."

Tonight's Lecture: Breaking Old Habits. Every time I try to kick my bad habits, they turn out to have shin guards.

Canine Psychiatry. My father was a boxer and my mother was a greyhound --- I've always been very conflicted when it comes to the "fight-or-flight" response!

"So you feel like you are constantly being followed?"

"If he presses the first lever, some food comes out; the second level, some candy comes out; the third lever, a female mouse comes out. After a week, he's looking for another lever."

"Now, let your inner ‘bad dog’ answer the question ..."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Santa Claus's Mail

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"I hate it when we fight."

Dog Park / Cat Park

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

Codepetdency Counseling: "He won't even sit on my lap anymore."

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

The life of penguins.

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

Failures.

"So we're agreed—free will exists, unless there are treats."