Cognitive Psychologist Gifts

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Lynching on social media

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

They hated me.

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

Fear/Knowledge

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

America, are we learning anything?

Thinking Gears

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."