Cognitive Psychologist T-Shirts

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

Lynching on social media

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

They hated me.

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

Support the Ex-Troops

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

Fear/Knowledge

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

America, are we learning anything?

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Thinking Gears

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.