Clinic Humor Fan Gifts

"Sorry I'm late, I had to retrieve your health records."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

'It's your four basic food groups.'

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

'You're giving me a flu-shot? Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-flu shot?'

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

'Luckily, it doesn't look too serious.'

Doctor has the taste for patients urine samples.

Medical Center.

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

"There's a shortage of beds, dear."

"The medic said he died of an ST-segment-elevated myocardial infarction -- Jack was always a showoff."

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

'Where does it hurt?'

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

'I'm afraid we've removed your wooden leg by mistake.'

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

'The doctor is putting you on solids.'

'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'

Quick! 5-second rule!

"I have some troubling news, Mr. Smithson. You're in my parking space."

"Yes, I have seen people in worse health than you. But, they were all dead."

No, you don't need to be "gluten-free." I said "glutton-free"!