Clinic Humor Fan Pillows

"Sorry I'm late, I had to retrieve your health records."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

'It's your four basic food groups.'

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

'You're giving me a flu-shot? Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-flu shot?'

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'Luckily, it doesn't look too serious.'

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

"The medic said he died of an ST-segment-elevated myocardial infarction -- Jack was always a showoff."

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

Medical Center.

Doctor has the taste for patients urine samples.

"There's a shortage of beds, dear."

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

'Where does it hurt?'

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'I'm afraid we've removed your wooden leg by mistake.'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

'The doctor is putting you on solids.'

'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

"Yes, I have seen people in worse health than you. But, they were all dead."

"I have some troubling news, Mr. Smithson. You're in my parking space."