Climate Worrier Gifts

"Do you every worry that the world's ending and we're just sitting here waiting for brunch?"

"The answer is space. I'm sending my kids to space."

"So you want to leave Germany when the Greens come to power. . . Will you take the yacht, the lear jet or should I get you a rubber dinghy?"

"Global warming is making me a laughing stock!"

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

"We'll always have Paris..."

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

The creature from the trailer by the dried-up lagoon.

I hate monday mornings.

The New Normal

"Evolution, here I come!" "Oh, no - the sea level is rising!" "There's still a chance!"

Polar Bear at the Ice Machine

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

Deforestation.

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

Is it me or are we getting a lot more wind lately?

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

Sea Change.

'I won't let global warming change my lifestyle.'

'I have trouble believing in global warming when it's so cold that my nipples and p***s are the same size.'

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

"'How to Buy Tickets on Bezos' Spaceship so You Can Live to See Your Teens,' by Chloe Butler."

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

Contradictory Phil

Weather reporter feels guilty every time it rains.

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

'We do a lot for the ecosystem.'

The science doesn't prove global warming. Stop the fraud. So why save gas because bad things "might" happen in 50 years? Global warming is hot air. Because we're going broke importing oil from countries that hate us today? Lemme see our talking points. Global warming is hot air.

"We have to recognise that severe weather events are becoming more common. . ."

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"