Client Relationship Manager Gifts

'This is a magnificent restaurant. Which fork should I use to comb my hair?'

'We've got to get our clients to think of long term investments. By long term, I mean until we retire.'

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'Great Therapy!'

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Direct Marketing...

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

"Did you speak to our client in Australia?"

"Ed Pierce is here to see you sir, and remember, it's unprofessional to roll your eyes."

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

"Look at them over there, looking all smug with their clients and accounts and stuff."

Mergers or acquisitions.

"Getting good grades isn't enough, son. You also need to bring in new clients."

"I'm working as fast as I can, Mr. Sims. There are only so many billable hours in a day, you know."

'I don't get it. He's got only one tongue and two ears, but he talks twice as much as he listens.'

What a Guy! The Tops! - "He likes to make his clients feel important."

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

"Providing the kind of service the customer is paying for could be a serious hassle."

'Our customers don't want mutual funds that are an 'eclectic mix'.'

'Sir, wife number two is on line one and wife number four is on line three ... or is it the other way around?'

"I'm considering going client side. That way I can still be an a*****e and actually get away with it."

'John, this is where you should declare your underlying love and tell Miriam she's the wind beneath your wings...'

'Yes sir, I'll get my chief daydreamer onto it now.'

"This conversation may be recorded for training purposes, depending on how well we confuse you."

business lunch

"I might be down the pub a bit later, Brian, I'm just trying to smooth a few things with the missus."

Credit card campaign ad

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

'He's a major client.'