Client Relations Coordinator Gifts

What a Guy! The Tops! - "He likes to make his clients feel important."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Direct Marketing...

"My boss says I intimidate people. . . so I stared at him until he apologized."

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

"Ed Pierce is here to see you sir, and remember, it's unprofessional to roll your eyes."

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

"I'm working as fast as I can, Mr. Sims. There are only so many billable hours in a day, you know."

'I don't get it. He's got only one tongue and two ears, but he talks twice as much as he listens.'

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

"Providing the kind of service the customer is paying for could be a serious hassle."

"I'm considering going client side. That way I can still be an a*****e and actually get away with it."

'Our customers don't want mutual funds that are an 'eclectic mix'.'

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"If I don't think it's going to work, will it still work?"

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

Credit card campaign ad

Drugs - 'Placebos' and 'Ex-strength placebos'.

John was determined to involve more people in key decisions. "Hands up who thinks fleet prices should go up."

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

'He's a major client.'

'This is my dance celebrating our new customer service guarantee!'

Ban news chair

'Remind clients to come prepared for their initial consultation with documents, names, addresses, checkbook, credit cards, cash.'

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

I suppose this probably counts as an adverse event.

'Company policy is to treat all our clients badly.'

Patience Tested While You Wait.

"I want three of you serving customers all day - two if we get busy."