Clickbait Detective Gifts

"It just happened. The entire internet is now nothing but clickbait."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

Alternative Medicine

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

The new Physics

Internet Magazine.

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince and I need your help!!! Please send me $500 and your bank routing number. You will rewarded with 10% of 12.7 million dollars and my undying friendship. Best wishes, Prince John Barron."

"If this is secret information the government doesn't want us to know, how come we can read about it on facebook?"

"They'll never guess how we stole their data."

"I think Baxter needs a break."

Vacancy at the Ecuadoran Embassy

'I find if I'm the first one in and the first one out, Ponzi schemes can be very lucrative.'

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

"...and for your part in the computer fraud I sentence you to eighteen months @www.hermajestiesprison.co.uk"

The Darknet starts right here.

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

"If there's a way in, they'll find it."

'To be honest I generally only deal with clients by phone or email.'

"I'm doing a think piece on me."

Berlitz guide to Scamese

Clickbait Moses- "Thou won't believe the 10 #life hacks to avoid eternal damnation"

Amateur Spam.

It's only an email, what harm can it do?

'Four out of five websites disagree with your diagnosis.'

"I already know he's gone — it's been on the Internet."

"Your internet researched analysis of your condition and treatment is impressive,and it would be 100% on target...if you were a goat!"