Clerical Writer Gifts

"I write mostly confessional non-fiction."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"Staff support"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Meet The Author"

Edgar Allen Poe

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

In and Out Tray

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

Literary Canines.

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

Display of political memoirs books categorized as: 'Non-fiction,' 'Fiction,' and 'Pure Fantasy'.

"You have word-ill."

Up-to-date Career-Specific Romance Novels

'That's my 'job security' barometer.'

This is forever... till death do us part...

Cow of BEEF

'This is a job for a consultant.'

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

How a poet works

'If you're omnipresent, why do I always have to climb way up here?'

"Why have you called him ballpoint?"

Adam and Eve, as old people.

He's the first Master Sculptor since the Renaissance also trained as a Mohel.

Bishops Snooker