Medical Writer Gifts

Medical Journal. I edited the article on pulmonary treatments. Now I need to write an abstract summarizing it. Ah, making a lung story short.

Pharmaco. He writes drug side effect warnings. Ah, a health scare provider.

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Bond James, Bond."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

2021

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

'How fast can you hype?'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Squeezing the Free Press.

"His first out-of-body experience."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.