Writing Gifts

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

A dog sits at her typwriter

"This is definitely the last time for Chapter Seventeen!"

By Strategic Use of Postcards, Thoreau Manages to Keep Walden Pond Unspoiled

"I wish you would make up your mind, Mr. Dickens. Was it the best of times or was it the worst of times? It could scarcely have been both."

Hamlet's Duplex

'Radiology confirms that, like many other teachers of English, you do have a book in you.'

"I don't understand it - no matter how much I drink coffee, play on my phone, refresh my e-mail, look up things online, go to the kitchen for snacks, message my friends, scroll through Twitter, and play with the cats, I still can't get any writing done."

"Yes, but what I really want to do is write children's books."

Dorothy Parker at the Algonquin Round Table

Novel, Novella, Novellette, Novellini

"I have to ask you a few questions. I've written a screenplay. Would you read it?"

'Yes, a winky face is correct... But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices known as 'complete sentences.''

Ancient Grammar Police: 'Oh, for cryin' out loud...you never end a sentence with a . . .'

Young Stephen King

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

Annual Pedants Conference.

How To Deal With The Upcoming Recession, Inflation, Depression, Ice Age, Greenhouse Effect, Energy Crunch, Population Explosion, and Complete End of the World in the Year 2000.

Writer with punctuation spray.

'First off, there's no 'y' in resume...'

'Don't you have anything more recent? I've already read what you just confessed on your blog.'

Gramma Police: 'Will work four food.'

"I translate books from English into better English."

"Do you mind if I interrupt your train of thought with my stream of consciousness?"

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

Corrective Lens

"Don't talk to me about suffering - in my spare time, I'm a writer."

Writers Strike

Collected works

"I got an extension.'

'You're afraid of commitment, aren't you?'

"Holy cow! What kind of crazy people used to live here anyway?"

"Well, instead of discussing the book we could discuss why none of us had time to read it."

"Very interesting professor...now do you think you could sum that up in six words or less, three of which have to be 'cancer', 'cure' and 'miracle'!"

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."