Technical Writer Gifts

"...this new policy is a credit to mumbo jumbo."

"Hey, Al! Do we hyphenate 'Doo Hickey?'"

'ANOTHER Shakespeare play?!! Look, all we wanted was the user manual for a sandwich maker.'

'We'll need someone to come up with a manual.'

'This is truly one of the great poems in the language. Computerese, that is.'

'They're not recalling the car, just the owner's manual!'

"You don't need a muse, Richard. You're a technical writer."

With the aid of a technical dictionary Colin was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

'I'm, Dr Jekyl, computer scientist, and this is Mr Hyde- he writes the manuals...'

... and this section is for the people who wrote computer manuals.

'I've no time to read books...these are Instruction Manuals for my stuff!'

'And what do you do for a living Duncan?' 'I write instruction manuals for computers.'

Manual Labor.

'I lifted the user's manual for this software with one hand and . . . '

Sorry... This is Not a Full-Scale Drawing

"Everyone seems to be having no trouble assembling our products. Apparently, we're making our instructions too easy."

Campaign for Plain English

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Ascent of Machine.

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"Invest in technology."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

Gadget geek.

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

"We don't talk anymore."

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

Books: Soon to be made into a major computer App.

All the apps hidden within a phone

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

'The stuka brought you.'

I demand to be recompensed for the 28.47 minutes of my time your café was wasted. What? There are 1500 square feet of seating space in this café. That is room enough for 125 people. 90 percent of Americans own a personal electronic device of some sort. The quotient of that ratio of people to electronic devices is 112.5. Dividing by two produces a quotient of 56.25. So you see, it's obvious why you owe me compensation for my wasted time. I have no idea what you're saying. You only have 55 electri

I've always been slower than computers...

'For the luxury item I'd like my ipod.'