Clean Freak Gifts

Hand sanitizer

'Mom, why can't I wash my own hands?'

Can too much hygiene create allergies?

"Sounds like an obsessive-compulsive disorder. Normal people don't spend that much time washing their hands."

"I hope you don't mind, but I used your toothbrush."

Car wash / Mouth wash

'Don't come in if your feet are dirty.'

Husband does the housework

'Remember, guys... we've got to clean up this mess before the folks get home.'

Brushing Under Man's Wig

NHS Deep Clean - 'Great news! You're going to get a bath.'

"Clean up this mess. . . or you're out."

'Potato peels, old tissues, plastic bags, empty tin cans. Stop talking rubbish.'

'I thought this was supposed to be clean fill dirt!'

'I warned you about eating at your desk. The Board of Health impounded your keyboard.'

Mammoth hoover

What a filthy rug. Sweep it under the dirt.

'Well, your cell phone is clean now.'

Son, our cat has a condition called 'Excessive Grooming Syndrome.' Too bad it isn't contagious.

'I'm afraid the surgeon couldn't perform your operation, because you weren't wearing clean underpants.'

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?'

'Everything is spotless around here except you-know-who.'

'Now!'

'Sorry about the blindfolds girls, but I haven't had time to tidy up.'

'I can see every speck of dust with my new glasses. That's why I don't wear them.'

HEY...Has anyone peed on this bit?

'Of course I'm a skilled professional nurse. Didn't you see me wash my hands and turn off the water with my elbows?...'

'I don't carry water anymore. It's hand sanitizer.'

"Really? Nothing has died in there? How do you explain the smell then?"

"No need to brush your teeth, Grandpa. I put them in the washer with my clothes."

"Oh no you don't. You're not walking on my newly polished floor."

James Dyson

"I should have known he has absolutely no morals - I've seen how he loads a dishwasher."

"Wouldn't it be easier to write on your desk if you cleaned it out, Robert?"

"My platform is simple: Daily cleaning of our national monuments!"