Clean Freak Pillows

Hand sanitizer

'Mom, why can't I wash my own hands?'

Germaphobes Anonymous.

Closed for cleaning.

Can too much hygiene create allergies?

"Sounds like an obsessive-compulsive disorder. Normal people don't spend that much time washing their hands."

"I hope you don't mind, but I used your toothbrush."

NHS Deep Clean - 'Great news! You're going to get a bath.'

Husband does the housework

'Don't come in if your feet are dirty.'

Brushing Under Man's Wig

Car wash / Mouth wash

"Clean up this mess. . . or you're out."

'Remember, guys... we've got to clean up this mess before the folks get home.'

'I don't carry water anymore. It's hand sanitizer.'

'Now!'

'Potato peels, old tissues, plastic bags, empty tin cans. Stop talking rubbish.'

"Oh no you don't. You're not walking on my newly polished floor."

'Of course I'm a skilled professional nurse. Didn't you see me wash my hands and turn off the water with my elbows?...'

'Sorry about the blindfolds girls, but I haven't had time to tidy up.'

'Crumbs everywhere!'

'I thought this was supposed to be clean fill dirt!'

'Well, your cell phone is clean now.'

'I'm afraid the surgeon couldn't perform your operation, because you weren't wearing clean underpants.'

Son, our cat has a condition called 'Excessive Grooming Syndrome.' Too bad it isn't contagious.

'I warned you about eating at your desk. The Board of Health impounded your keyboard.'

What a filthy rug. Sweep it under the dirt.

'I can see every speck of dust with my new glasses. That's why I don't wear them.'

"No need to brush your teeth, Grandpa. I put them in the washer with my clothes."

HEY...Has anyone peed on this bit?

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?'

".. I'm a viking! I'm supposed to leave rings on the table."

"Really? Nothing has died in there? How do you explain the smell then?"

Mammoth hoover

'It's like all I do is pick up after him.'