Classics Conqueror Gifts

"The classics can be so intimidating."

'My feet are killing me.'

Rage.

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

Second lifeReal life.

The trim reaper

"Ahh...He's got wind"

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

Gary Basks in the glow of a fifteen-minute window with no empty cardboard boxes in the house.

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

For sale - Used only Once.

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

"Stop! Information overload. I need to rebuffer."

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

A Learning Curve.

"Where do you see yourself in five moves?"

Contest to enter the University

"I reached Level Three of Super Mario Brothers!"

Delighted worker being propelled through the air on the back of the scale coming right off the chart

"He's mad because smart trash bags that take themselves out don't exist yet."

Medieval soldiers on a bouncy castle

"Yes! I defeated the invading forces! I am master and commander... I am a warlord!"

Computer Gamers.

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

Three Wise Women: 'Then at about six weeks or so you can probably expect a touch of colic...'

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'