Classicist Humor Gifts

'Damocles, did I sit in the wrong chair?'

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

'You must have misunderstood, dear -- I'm sure they don't sell old generals at government auctions!'

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

Romulus and Remus ( and their brother Derek )

'Now, Mrs Althorpe, if you think you see the man who assaulted you, we just want you to touch him on the shoulder.' (Mrs Althorpe beats a man up and then says she doesn't recognise any of them)

Gentleman discovering that his servants have been eating most of his good meat

Sisyphus, 117 million years on

"I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

I'll bet with age would come wisdom, if only we would remember a @#%* thing.

"Back from hunting with nothing again?"

Beware Of The Gnome - Look dear how quaint.

"I hope this isn't the start of an insensitive joke that was once considered funny."

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

'Don't be ridiculous, Schaumberg! -- They didn't have Burma-Shave back then!'

"Condense this down to a series of memes and we'll take another look at it."

My mind is like a steel trap, it's just a bit rusty.

Concerto for Two Horns

"It's alright for you - I'm a fictional character."

Poor Walt - they don't make em like him anymore.

American Gothic lol

Auroch drawing cave paintings.

Goldilocks and the Three Stooges

Early Selfies

'If anyone calls, I've gone to look for Wally.'

Sir Louie the Bench-Warmer pumps up the home crowd, and the tide of battle begins to turn.

Officer's Survival Training

"OK, high jinks - if I plead guilty to high jinks how much time do I get?"

The Life of the Party

'Who ordered the caesar salad?'