Claret Sipper Gifts

Two men drinking claret

Champagne

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

Deflator mouse

Beer Stall

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Whine and cheezed party."

Beach flirting

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

'You know what would be really romantic? If, just for once, you sat at the tap end.'

Complaints Desk

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

A very fine vintage

'Enjoying a snifter of brandy by the fire...'

"Detox is two doors back, bro' - this is retox!"

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

'Gee, mom, you know I want to visit - I'm just so darned busy.'

Thursday is the new Friday

'Ah, 'man's best friend' and it's brought by a dog.'

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

'Will you stop yelling save the whales and finish you pina colada?'

'If you're into preparing healthy meals then I recommend the apricot brandy. It contains the antioxidant beta carotene.'

I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it? No. What if I drank scotch and smoked a cigar and listened to vinyl records and grew a big lumberjack beard? It's what all the hipsters are doing. You're not a hipster. I'm at least a kneester. At most you're a keister.

'It's an innovative way to boost attendance.'

Lady on left - 'He's a man after my own heart' Lady on right - 'A cardiologist?'

'He's judging our reserve pinot noir - five years to produce it, five seconds in his mouth.'

'I told you to sip it!'

"I can't wait till after the election when everything will be perfect."

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

"You need a hobby."

Robert Morley

'What a relaxing vacation. I've even lost track of the news cycles!'

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."