Civic Joker Gifts

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

Fittd shēt

Vote: Have your photo ID ready!

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Prisoner still life painting.

"See how it feels"

House vs. Senate

"Edgar's very politically engaged ever since he began using his vote as an anger management tool."

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

Man at council planning offices can't get through door due to position of steps.

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

Vote Signal

"Your heart won't tolerate any more town-hall meetings."

Two uses for ten minutes in America.

Knight in the Elevator

A herd of sheep stand in a field; one sheep is wearing a t-shirt that reads "Staff".

"We were going to adopt a highway, but Rachel thought there would be less red tape if we adopted an overpass."

Campaign Headquarters: For a $500 contribution, the candidate will shake your hand ans sustain eye contact with you for five seconds.

Vote

'Parish Council, working towards obsolescence'

"Actually, my political philosophy is pretty simple: 'Practice Random Gridlock and Senseless Acts of Partisanship!'"

Texas - Home of Organic Free-Range Gas!

"Great job dealing with all those mail-in ballots. Seriously, top notch."

"It's our duty to vote, but it's their duty to find someone worth voting for!"

"I'm no doctor, but it looks like the poor guy's got coronavirus."

"You do pro bono work, I work for a non-profit, we both do volunteer work... that's why we need food stamps."

Community Board: Free Paper Ripping Lessons

"I'm not ready for a big commitment. Could I just pal around with a sidewalk a little?"