Civic Jokester Gifts

The Mayor Alonzo Q. Furdweiller Pothole. Looks like the mayor and the city council are bickering again.

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

A crab with a utility knife claw

"Beat it! Here comes the major and his entire staff!"

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

Ah Democracy - Just Like Home

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

'Classical music, huh?...You mean like Elvis?'

"You idiots … we lost!"

"Edgar's very politically engaged ever since he began using his vote as an anger management tool."

Man at council planning offices can't get through door due to position of steps.

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

Scottish Independence: The Union Jock.

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

"I'm very highly strung!"

I'm just a pollster, ma'am - I have no idea which candidate is a cat person.

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

Unselfish by nature - he delights to show the novice where the big chub cruise...and where the best pike lie.

Gang of Musicians

Trump in Washington

"No matter who I vote for, Tia Carmen always votes for the other guy. That means my candidate gets two votes!"

It's a Four Seasons sleeping bag.

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

Interrupted Shower.