Civic Jokers Gifts

"I'm not ready for a big commitment. Could I just pal around with a sidewalk a little?"

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

'If someone farts in the forest and there's no one around to smell it, does it make a stink?'

Photobooth Photobomb

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

Ah Democracy - Just Like Home

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

The Mayor Alonzo Q. Furdweiller Pothole. Looks like the mayor and the city council are bickering again.

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

"Edgar's very politically engaged ever since he began using his vote as an anger management tool."

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

Man at council planning offices can't get through door due to position of steps.

Artist Painting his Television.

I'm just a pollster, ma'am - I have no idea which candidate is a cat person.

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

'He said his first buzz word today!'

'That's what I said,dear-your dinner's in the chippie..'

"Kayakers Fred! Let's surface next to them and check the look on their faces!"

To save space, we eliminated hallways and doors, by adding catwalk and ladders.

How electric eels "welcome" door-to-door salesmen

Watch for Men Being Supid

'And make sure you use the AUTOMATED teller, you old goat!'

"I took your advice."

Trump in Washington

The Gardener's Calendar: If your fish pool is covered with ice...make a hole in it.

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'