Civic Jokers Gifts

"I'm not ready for a big commitment. Could I just pal around with a sidewalk a little?"

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

Photobooth Photobomb

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

Ah Democracy - Just Like Home

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

"Edgar's very politically engaged ever since he began using his vote as an anger management tool."

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

Man at council planning offices can't get through door due to position of steps.

Artist Painting his Television.

"Kayakers Fred! Let's surface next to them and check the look on their faces!"

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'

'That's what I said,dear-your dinner's in the chippie..'

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

'He said his first buzz word today!'

To save space, we eliminated hallways and doors, by adding catwalk and ladders.

How electric eels "welcome" door-to-door salesmen

"I took your advice."

Watch for Men Being Supid

How to avoid a heart attack.

The Gardener's Calendar: If your fish pool is covered with ice...make a hole in it.

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

'And make sure you use the AUTOMATED teller, you old goat!'