Civic Jokester Pillows

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

A crab with a utility knife claw

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

Ah Democracy - Just Like Home

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

"You idiots … we lost!"

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

"Edgar's very politically engaged ever since he began using his vote as an anger management tool."

Man at council planning offices can't get through door due to position of steps.

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

"I'm very highly strung!"

Scottish Independence: The Union Jock.

"No matter who I vote for, Tia Carmen always votes for the other guy. That means my candidate gets two votes!"

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

Unselfish by nature - he delights to show the novice where the big chub cruise...and where the best pike lie.

It's a Four Seasons sleeping bag.

Interrupted Shower.

Gang of Musicians

'... and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those dang meddling kids... that and my incredibly stupid plan. Also in retrospect, I realize my costume was, regrettably, quite lame.'