Politics Jokester Pillows

"I'd like to meet Rocketman at the DMZ and dance Gangnam style."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

A crab with a utility knife claw

'I don't know -- maybe an evil robot from the future IS the kind of President we need.'

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

"You idiots … we lost!"

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

Cleaning the Horse

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

Scottish Independence: The Union Jock.

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

Unselfish by nature - he delights to show the novice where the big chub cruise...and where the best pike lie.

'Tender and Juicy.'

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

"The president wants your helium for a national emergency."

Interrupted Shower.

'... and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those dang meddling kids... that and my incredibly stupid plan. Also in retrospect, I realize my costume was, regrettably, quite lame.'

"No matter who I vote for, Tia Carmen always votes for the other guy. That means my candidate gets two votes!"

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

The disgusting, embarrassing sound of a whoopie cushion...

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."