City-versus-country Humorist Gifts

Latest Spring Stiles from Paris.

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Airport Security.

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

Biliard Enthusiast

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

'HA! Your last chance 86 miles back.'

"Admit it, you're lost!"