City Living Critic Gifts

Hoodie Hang-out

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

'I'm telling ya, it's a jungle out there.'

Sick Building Syndrome

Can't even hold signs well.

"Son, one day two hundred square feet of this city could be yours to rent."

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

'It's not easy to get one of these - before that you have to have found a parking space!'

Demonic Repossession.

From Here You Can See Bugger All

Doubledecker bus stop

'I should've never sold my truck when I moved to the city.'

'I don't think we can justify employing a gardener.'

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

'This is close enough.'

'New in town, hey? Let me show you a great condo tower.'

'I see the rebranded mobile methadone project got underway.'

"We'll always hate Paris."

Leaves falling from a roof garden.

'It's like having our own private luxury box in the game of life.'

"That pigeon's at it again."

"I told you never to call me here."

"Oh dear! Low-cost housing."

Paving over the window-box

Urban Expansion

'It's the council's flood defence system.'

'If you don't want a lot of column upkeep, this probably isn't a good real estate market for you.'