City Living Critic T-Shirts

Hoodie Hang-out

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

'I'm telling ya, it's a jungle out there.'

Can't even hold signs well.

Sick Building Syndrome

"Son, one day two hundred square feet of this city could be yours to rent."

SF NO

'It's not easy to get one of these - before that you have to have found a parking space!'

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

Demonic Repossession.

Doubledecker bus stop

From Here You Can See Bugger All

'I should've never sold my truck when I moved to the city.'

'I don't think we can justify employing a gardener.'

Paving over the window-box

'New in town, hey? Let me show you a great condo tower.'

Leaves falling from a roof garden.

"We'll always hate Paris."

'I see the rebranded mobile methadone project got underway.'

'This is close enough.'

"Oh dear! Low-cost housing."

"That pigeon's at it again."

"I told you never to call me here."

'It's like having our own private luxury box in the game of life.'

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

Back to Normal

"Here's my plan. We grow our roots for 30 years until they crack the cement, which dismantles the fence. Then we just push it ove and make a break for it. You in?"

Urban Expansion

'It's the council's flood defence system.'