Citizenship Milestone Gifts

Time to Thank Your Lucky Stars.

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"One year closer to college!"

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

Gary turns 40.

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

Woman crying with happiness.

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

'Guess what? I won again.'

One!

Do you think I'm sixty?

Netanyahu versus Gantz

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

"Careful."

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

'Gentlemen, a toast to our 4th fishing trip this year. Perhaps, one day, we'll remember to bring poles, in addition to beer.'

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

Aging Problems

Ogden Nash: 'Middle age is when you've met so many people, that every new person reminds you of someone else.'

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"