Kindergarten Milestone Gifts

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"Sign my yearbook?"

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'At lone at last.'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'Baby's first two-step.'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

Eagle parenting.

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

'We think he has a future in politics.'

Sparkler

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

"Don't be a dummy, Justin - You gotta learn your ABC's so you can Google stuff."

"Aren't you young to be worrying about college?"

"Mommy wants you to know where your food comes from."

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

"I'm too old for baby limas."

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."