Kindergarten Milestone Pillows

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"Sign my yearbook?"

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'At lone at last.'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'Baby's first two-step.'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

One!

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

Sparkler

Eagle parenting.

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

'We think he has a future in politics.'

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

"Don't be a dummy, Justin - You gotta learn your ABC's so you can Google stuff."

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

"Aren't you young to be worrying about college?"

"Mommy wants you to know where your food comes from."

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

"I'm too old for baby limas."

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??

"Worthy of an Oscar don't you think?"