Citizenship Ceremony Gifts

Half French/half English.

I'm not sure that's the sort of oath to the state that Gordon Brown had in mind!

Lesbian civil partnership.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'Okay.. what the hell.'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

A couple dressed as a knife and fork

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'The correct response, Tanya, is 'I do' not 'yeah, whatever'.'

Netanyahu versus Gantz

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

Folk Wedding

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

A Reasonable Time for Concern

'Does my head look big in this?'

'Sorry, I always cry at weddings...'

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

GLAD-YOU-ATION

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

'Joe's really slow to take hint...she's been wearing that dress for two years.'

"You may now begin your insane experiment."

"Well, it all depends. Where are these huddled masses coming from?"

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

'It was the only way he could fit us in at such short notice.'

'I Marianne, promise to see all of your games in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer until death do I watch.'

'...Love, honor, and cherish? Remember - you're under oath.'