Ceremonies Gifts

Boat Christening vs. Boat Bris

'Bill missed rehearsal.'

"I couldn't find the giant scissors."

The Ancient Tea Ceremony of Astoria

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'Does my head look big in this?'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

Bridegroom asks if he can ask the audience.

Accountancy Awards - "And the winner is..."

'Sorry, I always cry at weddings...'

"I can marry you, but I can't trial-marry you."

'I declare this envelope...open!'

'...Love, honor, and obey, no questions asked?'

'The speaker for tonight's ceremony will be our valedictorian. Speak, boy, speak.'

'The correct response, Tanya, is 'I do' not 'yeah, whatever'.'

Mayor Gojo presents a keycard to the city to celebrity.

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

'Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus.'

Watermelon Cult

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

Prize Giving.

'...In best-case scenarios and in worst-case scenarios....'

SOARING BILL

I now declare this envelope open.

In sickness and in health, high interest rates or low....

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

"We were just making a little ceremony of burning the mortgage."

"And the Oscar for best political fictions..."

"Impressive as it sounds, isn't the transition from absolute monarch to supreme ruler basically a lateral career move?"

"I now pronounce you guilty."

The pastor forgot to remove his wireless mic before entering the baptismal."

Christening