Cinema Humorist Gifts

Hillary Clinton's Deader Than Dead Candidacy for 2020

'I'm not too impressed with this dinner theater.'

"I laughed, I cried, I peed my pants...but I always do that."

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

"The Eggsorcist"

Giraffe Selfie

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

Barbeque Casualty.

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"I don't think I can fit that into my schedule, Irv. I've got a fishing boat to attack this morning, a beach to terrorize this afternoon and a feeding frenzy this evening!"

Snowman ice fishing.

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

'Ugh, we've got termites, destructive little pests.'

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

"Well, I'm not a lone wolf on purpose! I was separated from my pack over three months ago and I can't find it again. . ."

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

Brad Pitt.

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

'No, Rusty, this one! You're barking up the wrong tree.'

"I've invented the wheel. We're going to be rich."

"About time they did something about the rats!"

'I don't know why I'm so unpopular - I haven't got a nasty bone in my body.'

"We want you to design the drainage system so that we have a muddy backyard..."

Punch Initials - O

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."