Cinematic Humorist Gifts

"Action!"

"For rom-coms, male dates get a ten percent discount and our deepest sympathy."

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

Football Chameleon

'Yes, all at once!'

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

Barbeque Casualty.

"The Eggsorcist"

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

Fishing from the Pier

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"Sir, multiple people were stabbed by a terrorist in..."

Snowman ice fishing.

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

'Ugh, we've got termites, destructive little pests.'

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

"Are my breasts AI? No! My cartoonist would never use AI!"

The Scottish Lawn

"Well, I'm not a lone wolf on purpose! I was separated from my pack over three months ago and I can't find it again. . ."

'No, Rusty, this one! You're barking up the wrong tree.'

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

"I've invented the wheel. We're going to be rich."

'I don't know why I'm so unpopular - I haven't got a nasty bone in my body.'

"About time they did something about the rats!"

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."