Cinema Humorists Gifts

Polly txt speak

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Alien embryo growing in earth.

The First Fire Stick

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Giant Monster in Bath

"She's a miniature."

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

Baby being fed using a lego construction.

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"He looks just like your husband."

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'No worries Grizella, let me call my 'eye of newt' guy...'

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

'HEY! Shouldn't that be a reef-knot?!'

"Neversource"

Photobooth Photobomb

'Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.'

'It's been murder since it was announced that eyes of newt might be a cancer cure.'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."