Cinema Humorists Gifts

It's sweet of you to ask, Randy, but I've decided just to rent some Mel Gibson movies instead.

Polly txt speak

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Alien embryo growing in earth.

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

The First Fire Stick

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"She's a miniature."

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

Giant Monster in Bath

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Baby being fed using a lego construction.

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

"He looks just like your husband."

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'No worries Grizella, let me call my 'eye of newt' guy...'

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

'HEY! Shouldn't that be a reef-knot?!'

'To talk to men at their own level you have to talk a load of balls.'

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

Why Superman flies himself

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."