Cinematic Humorist T-Shirts

"Action!"

"For rom-coms, male dates get a ten percent discount and our deepest sympathy."

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

Football Chameleon

'Yes, all at once!'

"The Eggsorcist"

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

Barbeque Casualty.

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

Fishing from the Pier

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

Snowman ice fishing.

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"Sir, multiple people were stabbed by a terrorist in..."

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

"I don't think I can fit that into my schedule, Irv. I've got a fishing boat to attack this morning, a beach to terrorize this afternoon and a feeding frenzy this evening!"

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

'Ugh, we've got termites, destructive little pests.'

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

"Well, I'm not a lone wolf on purpose! I was separated from my pack over three months ago and I can't find it again. . ."

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

The Scottish Lawn

'No, Rusty, this one! You're barking up the wrong tree.'

"Are my breasts AI? No! My cartoonist would never use AI!"

"About time they did something about the rats!"

'I don't know why I'm so unpopular - I haven't got a nasty bone in my body.'