Cinematic Comedian T-Shirts

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

"It seemed like a bargain at the time."

"So, do you think it's a good thing or a bad thing being part of the marvel cinematic universe?"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Zombie standup

Showbiz Awards

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Trump pardons

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

'The circle is complete!'

'Your French dip, sir.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

"We're following Carrot Top."

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

No-Work Orange

The Rooster Comedian.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

A Guide to Balloon Animals

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."